yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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