I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize