I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
