Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
