Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Green mimosas i think yes
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Enjoy the penises
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
