I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
