If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize