I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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