Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
