He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
