break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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