I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
