In the future we'll all be gay
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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