Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
