I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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