I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
