and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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