I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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