I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
