i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
