Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
