My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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