Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize