The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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