I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize