Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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