dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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