After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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