I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
