I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize