Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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