i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
