I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
