Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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