he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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