we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
