My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
