it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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