She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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