Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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