Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
