I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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