Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
