Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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