Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
