Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Randomize
