the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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