That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
