let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
