im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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