This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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