i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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