I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
