so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
