i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
