Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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