I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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