You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
