So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
