Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
