im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
