Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
