i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
