I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
