You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
