The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize