I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
