some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
