I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
