whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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